This week had been wild and crap. Tuesday I had intake for HKU. I just finished my products and went to Hilversum. We had to lay down our stuff and wait for a really long time. Finally we had to sit in a big classroom and they called out our names if you passed or not.
My heart was pounding so hard I could almost hear it. When they finished the list my name wasn’t called. I felt really bad about it. I just wanted to dissapear. We had to get back our portfolio and stuff from the classroom, but I forgot my bag so I had to return. After that I couldn’t find the classroom back and I walked around in circles for 10 minutes.
When I finally found it I wanted to get my stuff, but there was a lady sitting there snobbing: Can you hurry up? We’re having our conversations here. She was so rude! There wasn’t even anyone there, they where only drinking their coffee. With tears in my eyes I hurried and took my stuff and got out of there.
I was really upset because I worked so hard for this. Drawing is the only thing I’m sort of good at, and even this wasn’t enough. I’m not sure what I’m gonna do now, maybe try at Genk or Rotterdam. But I don’t think I can handle another dissapointment. Maybe I’ll try again next year!

The day after was the Dir en Grey concert. That was sort of fun! I could release the stress a little bit. I did drink a little bit too much so I was a bit tipsy. I got a lot of bruises from that night, because we where standing near the pit. I fell on my knees a lot, but got pulled up the entire time haha.
The concert itself was dark and I couldnt really hear the vocal. But they played The Final <3

Friday we where supposed to go to ILA, but I got too drunk and we didn’t even made it to the entrance. I’m really embarrased about what happened. I’m staying away from the alcohol for a looong time.

My life turned into kind of a mess, I’m really not sure what to do next. I’m think I should take a break from everything and just relax a bit. I’ll be going on vacation on July 2th untill July 24th. My mom booked everything as a suprise so I don’t know where we’ll be going yet (although I have my feelings about it! It’s awesome) I’ll be missing a lot of birthdays, uncluding my own! But I’ll bring lots of birthday presents for all of you :3